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ALT
Trade Agent of the Month
Joined: 20 May 2005
Location: Oot and Aboot.
Forum ID: 5765
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 Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 3:08 pm Post subject:
How Many Christians Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?
Subject description: funny |
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| Quote: | Charismatics: Only one. Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the casserole.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the
next Sunday service, in which we will! explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting
service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb? |
This is an E-Mail I got. 
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check out www.thesmalltribe.com/dnn GO TsT! |
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alex_rich
Member
Joined: 03 Aug 2004
Location: England
Forum ID: 4945
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| Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 3:14 pm Post subject:
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WOW, is there seriously that many types of chirstians
Stats like that just
just make you stop and think
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| breakboyforever wrote: | | Yes, i did get a digital camera and take a picture of my screen. And.....? |
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jagriff3
Expert
Joined: 15 Oct 2005
Location: Texas
Forum ID: 6278
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| Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 3:50 pm Post subject:
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ya
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Lil_Smit18
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: Steubenville Ohio
Forum ID: 5903
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| Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 4:47 pm Post subject:
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Just don't let pizzaguy see this.  
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| Lil_Smit18 wrote: | | Ohio state wins over the inexperienced newbs on the Texas Team |
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BP
Veteran
Joined: 14 Jun 2003
Forum ID: 1901
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| Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 5:54 pm Post subject:
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| alex_rich wrote: | WOW, is there seriously that many types of chirstians
Stats like that just
just make you stop and think
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Wow, are you in a special class or something?
_________________
Quote of the Week:
Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive. |
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alex_rich
Member
Joined: 03 Aug 2004
Location: England
Forum ID: 4945
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| Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 6:35 pm Post subject:
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BP - No i am not
Are you just mentally retarded or something?
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| breakboyforever wrote: | | Yes, i did get a digital camera and take a picture of my screen. And.....? |
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junkybird2
Veteran
Joined: 02 Jul 2003
Location: Burleson, Texas
Forum ID: 2111
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| Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 7:21 pm Post subject:
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| alex_rich wrote: | | BP - Are you just mentally retarded or something? |
What, you didn't already know? BP has his own school, just for him.... 
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| Quote: | | If at first, you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris. |
| Quote: | | I got pimped by Wookie. |
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BP
Veteran
Joined: 14 Jun 2003
Forum ID: 1901
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| Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 7:37 pm Post subject:
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| alex_rich wrote: | BP - No i am not
Are you just mentally retarded or something? |
Why do you ask?
Just because I said something of the same nature, and you just wanted to retort with the same exact question to make fun of me the same way I made fun of you?
Sounds fairly contradictory to me.
_________________
Quote of the Week:
Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive. |
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pizzaguy
Veteran
Joined: 21 Jul 2004
Location: T-Town
Forum ID: 4887
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Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 7:40 pm Post subject:
Re: How Many Christians Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?
Subject description: funny |
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| ALT wrote: | Charismatics: Only one. Hands are already in the air.
HAH! Funny!
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the casserole.
Amen. I agree totally... Baptists use committees alot, and we call eating Baptist Bellyship instead of fellowship lol. We love eating!
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Georgy
Veteran
Joined: 20 Aug 2004
Location: Long Beach, CA
Forum ID: 5019
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| Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 7:41 pm Post subject:
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| BP wrote: | | alex_rich wrote: | WOW, is there seriously that many types of chirstians
Stats like that just
just make you stop and think
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Wow, are you in a special class or something? |
I thought it was a fair question. 
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Lil_Smit18
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: Steubenville Ohio
Forum ID: 5903
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| Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 8:30 pm Post subject:
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| Georgy wrote: | | BP wrote: | | alex_rich wrote: | WOW, is there seriously that many types of chirstians
Stats like that just
just make you stop and think
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Wow, are you in a special class or something? |
I thought it was a fair question. |
Well, we don't care what YOU think do we?
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| Lil_Smit18 wrote: | | Ohio state wins over the inexperienced newbs on the Texas Team |
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Lil_Smit18
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
Location: Steubenville Ohio
Forum ID: 5903
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| Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 8:38 pm Post subject:
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I didn't know Amish was a religion ?
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| Lil_Smit18 wrote: | | Ohio state wins over the inexperienced newbs on the Texas Team |
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yagadan05
Guest
Forum ID: -1
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| Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 1:53 am Post subject:
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| Lil_Smit18 wrote: | | I didn't know Amish was a religion ? |
Here's a little Amish 'Did you Know?':
Did you know?...
The term English refers to nonAmish people.
Amish farmers were asked by the U.S. Government to cut back on planting on their farms one year and complied. The U.S. Government came back in the fall, giving farmers money for cutting back their production. The Amish farmers would not accept the money.
The only know Amish-on-Amish slaying was in Pennsylvania in 1993. The husband beat his wife to death and then gutted her deer style. The husband had stopped taking his medication for schizophrenia.
The Amish asked for exemption for military service during the civil war. A civil war military exemption paper signed by Abraham Lincoln, Secretary of War cost the Amish family or church $300.00. A lot of money at that time.
Buying commercial insurance to the Amish is not trusting in God. They do not buy it.
When they need to help a member who has a large hospital bill or a family that has lost a barn or house to fire, they will hold an auction or dinner to raise funds.
Amish pay the same taxes as English do including real estate taxes. They do not collect social security, unemployment, or welfare.
Electric appliances may run on battery or compressor power.
They may have an air compressor to pump water from the well.
..oh, I guess to answer your question: Yes.. they are VERY Christian. |
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The_Safo
Veteran
Joined: 24 Oct 2002
Location: LeRoy, NY
Forum ID: 36
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| Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 4:12 pm Post subject:
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| alex_rich wrote: | WOW, is there seriously that many types of chirstians
Stats like that just
just make you stop and think
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That would be a new and nice change of pace.  |
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jagriff3
Expert
Joined: 15 Oct 2005
Location: Texas
Forum ID: 6278
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| Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 8:54 pm Post subject:
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| The_Safo wrote: | | alex_rich wrote: | WOW, is there seriously that many types of chirstians
Stats like that just
just make you stop and think
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That would be a new and nice change of pace. |
LOL
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